On language learning (PART 1):

I find when learning a new language, one must pass through phases in which to learn. Let me explain. Phase 1- trying to grasp the sounds and pronunciation, while trying to remember simple greetings.  In addition, when pronouncing and listening, it feels like you’re babbling like a child; and you have no reading skills yet. You are eager to learn everything you can, which is nearly impossible, but you feel like you can do anything; and staying positive helps you get through this “awkward phase” of not being conversational enough to use the language in order to practice it.

Phase 2- you’ve now mastered trying to remember “hello”, you learned the alphabet, so you can soundi out constants, and you know most of the important tenses-the rules at least!

Phase 3- you begin to read, which you do so ever so slowly, which makes you ashamed to admit you can read because then you will be called upon to read aloud…you are sounding out EVERYTHING! You neglect to congratulate yourself in this small milestone of beginning to read signs/advertisements, because you realize just how massive this language is and if you will ever become fluent!

Phase 4- You have finally mastered greeting and small-talk and you feel so far from talking about politics, philosophy…the important conversations you want to touch on (instead of the usual weather and food topics!), and you think you should be farther along by now…but you’re improving without realizing it and not giving yourself much credit; people either encourage or discourage you at this point. Don’t let them!

Power of Prayer

It's amazing how God works in us to bring His will on earth, something Jesus encouraged us to pray (see Lord's Prayer). Lately, He has showed me this through praying for Syria. I allowed Him to lead me to pray for not only peace, but for the U.S. President would be given "a way out" from having to strike Syria in an act of violence (only God can have justice- how can we take revenge and justice into our own hands, using violence and war?)...and God granted this by having the Russian President seek to speak to Obama about collecting the chemical weapons from Syria. I prayed this the night/morning of when this decision was brought about. This tells me some incredible things about God: 1. He shows us how to pray, 2. He involves us in His will through prayer, 3. He humbles us by our dependence on Him to take control of what we have no control over. The Master is at work, and He is good.

What is happiness? What is this strange feeling of usefulness, purpose, and dignity that we call fulfilling? 1 John 3:1, 3:  “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us that we should be called children of God!!!...And everyone who has this hope purifies himself, JUST AS HE IS PURE”!!! I cannot deny I am a sinner, because if I do then I call God a liar…but now I am pure as He is, thankful to this hope of being His child! We are not alone! God gave us help: if our hearts bring us down and depressed, Christ is greater than our hearts and He knows all things and brings us out of what is holding us back (1 John 3:20)!

The tongue is deceitful, who can tame it? (James 3:7-9.) I try to, and each time it feels like I have fewer victories and more failures because the flesh wants the best of me. However, this flesh is like the grass: it will disappear one day, and God’s Words will remain (1 Peter 1:24-25; Isaiah 40:6-8). I don’t want my words to remain. They are worthless; they have hurt people and have shied away from sharing a truthful message about Christ. Oh Lord, forgive me. Forgive my Western friends and families who have over the generations made wrong decisions in how to respond to the rest of the world. It has not been wise or just; even the wealth of the West and the “whites” is not from a truthful method. It came from the sweat of slaves, the exploitation of the voiceless… I tried to deny my relationship to the West when I was younger so I could be rid of the responsibility. But they are still my sisters and brothers. God still loves them, He still loves me- and the sooner I humble myself the more free I can be. It’s His kindness that brings repentance…and with repentance (sins) brings grace all the more (Romans 5:20). Praise God through Jesus Christ! This is true joy, true fellowship with the Son.

A series of events

Samuel 30

This was the day where peace was avenged, and it moved me.

But David had compassion in his heart, not because he cared for the people, but because he knew how much God had been with him through it all: when God told him he would take over his enemies, when he saw that his men were strong, and when he gave food to a stranger, after he had not had anything to eat for days. He recognized the supremacy of God. He knew God was more powerful than his situation, and he could trust in God to save him. Just as when David wrote as one of his Psalms: “I am the Lord your God, who will never leave you nor forsake you. The Lord God is my helper; what can man do to me? If God is for me, then who can be against me?” Did he know these songs would be passed down for generations to come? No. He only wanted to worship God not because God was going to be angry with him if he did not, but because God loved him and David knew that. How else could he respond to true love than to offer thanks and acknowledgment to the one, true God? He could not help himself. The same feeling was in this moment: how much he wanted to do what was right, not because God would be more pleased with him, because God knew David’s heart, but out of his own, natural trust for God (developed by God in his life over the years), he wanted to give the plunder to all. He knew the plunder would be needed by everyone. If everyone were to enjoy it, then there would be less greed. How can one want to take from someone else when they are amply supplied to contentment? And that is what happened. David trusted God that he would not need all the plunder for himself; God would give him what he needed when he needed it. Just as David experienced in childhood how God killed the giant, Goliath, because God gave him the strength he needed. David wanted for nothing.

I have just discovered something quite profound. The verse "I must decrease so He must increase" has made an impact on me. I know the similar prayer: "God, increase so I can decrease". I meant this to be, "God take over this situation, because I am about to mess it up". Now, I understand God is telling me to take what I have and give it to him. The little that I have (like the boy with the lunch of loaves and fish) so He may "increase" it. I admit, I don't have much: experience, wisdom, materials...but God can make something beautiful out of what He has created in me from dust (Psalm 103:14). I am convinced I need to get to this point to accept that God is my everything.

On top

God is doing amazing things! Just this month He is showing me how the fruit of the little things He has led me to do (such as pray with a friend) has led to big results! I think He wants to show me this so that I am not discouraged when I am in Lebanon and it feels like what I am doing is of limited worth. It is not with Him, because He gives us this grace that brings us confidence in Him, which allows us to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine!

(This is found in Ephesians 3:10-22.)

I am truly learning how to give up what is comfortable in order to let Christ be everything to me. After having "accomplished" all I could this year: getting to know a new area, becoming a "seasoned" Marriage and Family Therapist...I am now facing having to start over: learning a new language, training in new skills such as teaching...I don't fully understand God's way in this. It is why "His ways are not my ways..." (Is. 55:8).